Dear social media

Dear social media,

First of all, I would like to thank you for being in my life for the longest time. You are always the one I turn to when I’m bored out of my brains, the one I look into during awkward moments, the one I go for whenever I need to communicate with family and friends. It’s not easy being without you but there are days when I realize that maybe you’re just making me need you, even if I know for a fact that I could go on without you. That maybe the reason why I get bored and turn to you is that I got so used to having you around I forgot to explore other things. Maybe awkward moments happen because everyone was, just like me, focused on you. And maybe it’s because of you that I don’t get to personally communicate with the people close to my heart anymore. Almost everything has got something to do with you — that’s how much impact you have on me. I don’t even want to acknowledge it but somehow, I got so dependent on you and you have turned my world into something that’s not real.

What have you done to me? How could I get absorbed by you for hours without me even noticing? I get scared just thinking about the time I spend on you every single day.  How much more photos do I have to take just to please you? I remember the days I would go on adventures and not get compelled to have good pictures while already thinking about the caption I’d use. I want to experience again what it’s like to live without having to rely on you. I want to fall in love with life. I wish to talk to my loved ones about my stories and not have to post them on social media. I aspire to take pictures to remember special moments and not to get likes from people I don’t even know of. I crave to embrace what I have rather than comparing and yearning the things I see online. I want to be able to look up at the beautiful things around me instead of looking down my phone just to check up on you.

I wouldn’t say I want your part in my story to be over because no matter how unhealthy you are for me right now, I believe you are still going to be useful in some ways. It’s not easy, but I could go on for days without you. It’s something I would actually do once in a while, like a breather from all the fake things in the online world. The problem is old habits die hard. I get drawn to you once I start using you again. So today, I’m not going to ask you to leave me alone. I am not completely disconnecting like I always do, I only seek balance. I just want you to give me some time off whenever it’s necessary to make me stop the almost-hate I’m feeling towards you right now. It is my hope that you won’t make it too hard for me.

 

Love,

Marichelle

 

One comment

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